Food trucks are a nationwide phenomenon, selling everything from Philly cheesesteaks to Korean tacos to cassoulet. But not everyone sees them as a culinary innovation: The New York Fire Department has been reviewing a PowerPoint presentation suggesting that food trucks might present a possible terrorist threat. Luckily, BA's Division of Special Services has acquired further internal documents relating to this menace, and as our civic duty we are releasing them to the public at large. For all you wary citizens out there, here's what to look out for:
Mini-BMX Storage Pod: Enables quick, trick-enhanced getaways in case of CIA/FBI/NYPD/NSA/BPOE raids.
Cooler Filled With Foie Gras: This contraband substance is known to induce excessive drooling in victims, which hampers dignified anthem-singing.
Traditional Central Siberian Soul Food Fusion Menu: The combination of post-Soviet, pre-industrial, and American comfort flavors puts victims in state of psychological disorientation, enabling easy brainwashing to nefarious cause.
Juicer/Uranium Enrichment Facility: They look surprisingly similar. Keep an eye out for glowing kale.
Seemingly Stoned Employees: Not only is marijuana a gateway drug, and a favorite of violent, radical, government-overthrowing criminal masterminds, but the relaxed air of the employees could be a front. Stay alert for red, shifty eyes.
Artisanal Propane Tanks: The elaborate hand-tooling by Appalachian craftsmen conceals a time-bomb mechanism, complete with red and blue wires. Update to come on which to cut in emergency situations.
Eclectic Hip-Hop Soundtrack: "Urban" music is well-known as the international soundtrack of terror. As law enforcement officials, your first instinct upon hearing this musical selection will likely be to stop and frisk the entire food truck, but more circumspect action is recommended.
Full-Sleeve Tattoos: They may look "cool," but they hide subliminal messages to activate sleeper cells. Avert eyes.
Active Social Media Presence: Terrorist recruitment (obviously).
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