10 Wine Gifts for Winos
It’s not that I don’t think we should all “Live. Laugh. Wine.” It’s just that I don’t need another wooden sign that says it, and neither does the wine lover you’re buying for this holiday season. (We all have at least four, whether they’re hanging up or not.) As BA’s resident wino, I’ve compiled a gift guide of my favorite items that are practical, and will be appreciated by novices and pros alike long after the tree is hauled to the sidewalk.
1/10Pulltap Double-Hinged Waiters Corkscrew, $10 on Amazon
Don’t fall into the trap of buying some fancy, expensive, electric corkscrew that looks like it could double as a sex toy. Those are way more trouble than they are worth. The only corkscrew anyone needs is a Pulltap, and if they already have a Pulltap, great news! They sell them in packs of four ($34)! Because everyone needs more than one. If you drink a lot of wine, you’re bound to lose at least two a year. Pulltaps are double-hinged, giving extra leverage to remove a cork rather than having to use Hulk-like strength trying to pull the cork out while you have the bottle in a headlock.
2/10Capabunga Wine Sealers, $13 for a set of 4 on Amazon
After removing aforementioned corks, sometimes you can’t get them back in. Wine drinkers need wine stoppers, but Capabunga wine sealers go one step further by creating an airtight seal around the mouth of the bottle. Unlike the souvenir glass stoppers I somehow have drawers of, the Capabunga allows wine to be stored on its side without leakage.
3/10Fante’s Aunt Vittorina’s Champagne Stopper, $8 on Amazon
While it’s hard to imagine not finishing a bottle of sparkling wine, it happens. But Fante’s Champagne stoppers keep open bottles of bubbles good for days. Seriously! DAYS! Airtight with a metal arm clasp and a small hole that allows for CO2 to fill the top of the stopper and create an even tighter seal, Fante’s stoppers make reopening sparkling wines sound and taste almost as delicious as when they were first popped.
4/10Marble Wine Cooler, $24 at Crate and Barrel
Ice buckets are great for chilling a bottle on the spot, but often they can make wines too cold. I know, who thought that was even a thing? But when wine is too cold, it mutes a wine’s aromas and flavors (which is not good, unless the wine sucks and that’s what you need to do in order to drink it). Marble is naturally insulating, keeping your wine at optimal temperature. You can put it in the fridge for optimal coolness, or just to use it as a vase.
5/10Pyrex Flask, $13 on Amazon
Decanters do not need to look like an ice sculpture. Au contraire, they honestly can be a Pyrex flask that looks like it belongs in a junior high science lab. So unpretentious it’s cool, these 1000 mL Pyrex flasks hold a full bottle of wine and get the job done, because everyone needs to be decanting.
6/10Zalto Wine Universal Wine Glasses, $58 on Amazon
If you’re buying for someone who reeeeally loves wine, and you trust them with fragile objects like hand-blown glass or baby birds, then consider giving the gift of incredible wine glasses. Zaltos are Austrian wine glasses that are super thin and made to the specific angles of the Earth’s tilt, which sounds insane, but it doesn’t matter because wine actually smells and tastes better out of them. Seriously, I tested them against every wine glass in my house.
7/10Noble Rot Subscription, $50
Perhaps this wine buddy of yours is also into art, great writing, and even better wine, then Noble Rot is for them. The UK based tri-annual magazine is part pop-art and part wine-punk. Some of the world’s best wine writers explore new waves, under-appreciated regions, food scenes, and chat with the likes of Vice’s Shane Smith, the Beastie Boys’ Mike D., and even Francis Ford Coppola. And it sure as hell looks great on a coffee table.
Courtesy of Etsy/stripeycity8/10Outdoor Wine Glass Stakes, $25 at Etsy
As someone who does not “do festivals,” I did not think I would need outdoor wine glass stakes. I was very wrong. Anyone who enjoys camping, picnics, or just hanging in the backyard with the BBQ will get a lot of use out of these, and will be spared from endless spills or worse, broken glass. There are many versions of these, but I like the simple metal ones because they’re compact and easy to haul around.
Photo by Michael Graydon and Nikole Herriott9/10A Magnum of Something Delicious
Why are we even playing like this person who loves wine wouldn’t just love a big-ass bottle of delicious wine? Magnums are special not only because they’re bigger, but magnum bottles must be custom-made by wine producers, so they’re limited. Magnums are also better for aging because they oxidize slower than regular 750 mL bottles. Throw a bow on it and you’ve basically brought home a Benz of wine from a winter sales event. Read more about magnums here.
10/10A Book! $14 on Amazon
I also hear that this book some rando named Marissa A. Ross wrote called Wine. All The Time.: The Casual Guide to Confident Drinking makes a really great gift, but who’s to say. 🤷🏻
