Welcome to Delicious or Distressing, where we rate recent food memes, videos, and other decidedly unserious news. Last week we discussed Subway (the sandwich chain) potentially optioning buyers.
In the alternate timeline of my life in which I grew up in Los Angeles, I’m frankly devastated that my generation’s bar mitzvah season didn’t coincide with the nascence of our nation’s newest Taco Bell Cantina. Outfitted with a DJ booth and movie screens, it’s practically begging to be overrun by feral 13-year-olds donning glowstick crowns, hyped up on Baja Blasts (spiked ones reserved for the adults). In any case, I’m eager to see who will christen the space DJ-wise. Shaq? The Chainsmokers? That Guy You Went to College With?
Meanwhile, Starbucks is yassifying its own trademark bevs, not with alcohol but with smooth glugs of olive oil. According to Food & Wine, the coffee–olive oil combo is pretty good, and the writer noted that her lips felt moisturized after sipping—an unexpected but welcome by-product. Consider me intrigued. Less intriguing is the new Jeni’s x Ted Lasso ice cream collab, appealing in theory but remarkably less so in practice (I tried it), and cigarette-style warning labels affixed onto meat packages to deter consumption.
Taco Bell’s Hollywood Cantina will hold DJ parties
So a Taco Bell Cantina in Los Angeles is planning to host DJ parties now. Makes sense. This unsurprising yet bold move is in part to help the brand enter LA’s nightlife scene and appeal to its young “cool kid” crowd. The cantina plans to add a movie screen and speakers in order to host a multitude of parties, and will remove its traditional menu boards and install digital ordering kiosks instead—I imagine it’s hoping to have more interaction on the dance floor. Dancing to some house music with a spiked Baja Blast in one hand and a Crunchwrap in the other doesn't sound outlandish to me. Taco Bell is a classic fast-food option for late-night cravings anyway, so while you're getting lit on the dance floor, you might as well grab a snack while you're there. It's a two in one. If this Cantina opened in NYC, there’s a 100% chance I’d book a DJ party. I'm always trying to live más. 4.2/5 delicious. —Julia Duarte, art assistant
Starbucks debuts olive oil coffee
Something's...happening at Starbucks. The company is going through some kind of midlife crisis—at the very least we're seeing her go through a very public menty b. First there was the NFT projects (classic cry for help), then there's the ongoing push against unionization efforts (self-sabotaging), and now it’s introducing an olive oil-infused coffee (desperate plea for attention). Starbucks, beloved, what's going on? What do you need right now? I know there's been some recent trouble with TikTok drink hacks, but is there a loved one we can call to give you some support right now? I guess what I'm saying is who asked for this, and are they in the room with us now? Who knows, maybe I'm being a pessimist, but I'm having a hard time imagining enjoying an oily tasting coffee. I’m giving this one a slicked, slidey 3.7/5 distressing. — Sam Stone, staff writer
Jeni’s creates a new Ted Lasso ice cream flavor
When he’s not tossing his body under Olivia Wilde’s car, Jason Sudeikis—the versatile man he is—also portrays American soccer coach slash British transplant Ted Lasso. In the show, Lasso wins the affection of a steely coworker with a daily delivery of homemade shortbread biscuits (and a side of Midwestern charm), wearing down her tough exterior with buttery pastry. Naturally, Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams turned the show’s sweet motif into a real life ice cream flavor, because what’s not to like about shortbread-flavored ice cream? Apparently a lot, because I did not like it. The ice cream developers went heavy on shortbread’s most prominent ingredient: butter. I appreciated the balance of salty and sweet, and the embedded chunks of shortbread itself, but I was so overtaken by the taste of pure butter that I couldn’t focus on anything but. Truly, I felt as if I was biting into a cold stick of it. I respect the concept, and I couldn’t help but be charmed by the jacket-themed pint packaging. But it wasn’t for me. 1.3/5 distressing. —Li Goldstein, digital production assistant
Instagram content
People have serious beef with these meat warning labels
Nothing makes me blink twice and back nervously out of a room like discussions around whether or not humans should eat meat. It’s a topic that’ll probably get you disbarred from said social gathering, regardless of which side of the fence you sit—and definitely if you’ve had a night on the BORGs. So it’s unsurprising that people are freaking out about a new study, from Delft University of Technology in the Netherlands, which tested out how cigarette-style warning labels slapped on packets of meat would influence buying decisions. The researchers tried out a slew of different high-horse messages, such as “Eating meat makes animals suffer” and “The Amazon rainforest is destroyed when you eat meat.” The skinny of it? All of them made participants less likely to eat the animal flesh. Listen, I don’t want this planet to go dark mode anymore than you do, so I’m very down for meat-reducing strategies. But as my therapist always says, shame is no good for nobody. And these stickers are giving major wartime propaganda. That’s a 4.1/5 distressing for the meat police. —Ali Francis, staff writer