12 Dishes Best Served Cold, Like Revenge
We've been told time and time again that it's important to forgive those who've wronged us—it's better for our overall emotional and spiritual health. But hell, who're we kidding? There's nothing like some good, old-fashioned, intricately plotted revenge, served ice cold.
Which reminds us—some of our favorite foods are best served cold, too (we may hold a grudge, but we're also easily distracted). From gazpacho to an icy martini, these are our favorite foods to eat with a chilly disposition.
Matt Duckor1/11Olive Oil Ice Cream
You might be wondering, "Does this really taste good?" The answer is yes. It tastes almost as good as revenge.
What wouldn't taste good, though, is if you also sautéed some onions and garlic and folded them into this ice cream, served it in a chocolate-dipped waffle cone with sprinkles, and let someone have at it. Just let that thought marinate for a bit…
2/11Raspberry and Aperol Floats
Ice cream will make you forget all of the world's ills. So will Aperol.
But what if you took your first sip of what looked like the world's greatest ice cream float, and instead of creamy vanilla ice cream, you stuck a straw into a giant frozen ball of ice? That would be the worst. The absolute worst.
Misha Gravenor Photography4/11Iced Cucumber Soup with Mint, Watercress, and Feta Cheese
You may feel hot under the collar, but this soup will keep you as cool as a cucumber (ha!).
Let's be honest—this is not a recipe for weight loss (we still love ya though, feta!). But it looks like a recipe for weight loss. Time for your Regina George moment.
5/11Ajo Blanco
6/11Watermelon Gazpacho
It's pretty hard to stay in a bad mood when eating this bright pink, creamy, and sweet soup—but gosh darn it, you are going to try.
Anyway, here's what we're thinking for your perfect revenge. You buy a lot of watermelons. We're talkin' a lot. Like 20, maybe 30. You stockpile the suckers, right? And then, in the middle of the night (for 20, maybe 30 nights), you place a watermelon on your enemy's doorstep. Every night. An entire watermelon. What can anyone do with all that watermelon? They'll make this soup, sure, and maybe hollow one out and fill it with vodka, but after that? After that, they're just a schmuck with a porch full of watermelons, trying to figure out why this is happening to them. And you, my friend, are a winner.
7/11Potato Salad with Pickles and Dill
Potato salad is one of those foods best eaten straight from the fridge (definitely better than from a picnic table in the sun).
Which gives us some inspiration for the perfect revenge. It's so simple, so deliciously cruel. Here's what you do: You make this potato salad, but you swap out the mayonnaise for low-fat mayo. Then, under the guise of a white flag, you deliver it to the offending party. "Hey, let's just call it water under the bridge," you say. "I made you a delicious potato salad!" Then, when they offer to share it with you, you suddenly remember an appointment—doctor, dentist, spray tan, whatever—and you bolt, leaving them to discover the atrocity that awaits.
8/11Curried Egg Salad in Mini Pitas
Egg salad's a summertime classic—all the more reason to eat it cold.
And hey, not for nothin', but boiling a few extra eggs and hiding them in choice spots around your mortal enemy's house might be the most genius revenge plot, ever. If they discover the source of the increasingly wretched scent, you can just play dumb and suggest they were perhaps leftover from the springtime Easter egg hunt.
10/11Pico de Gallo
11/11The Modern Martini
